How to be Happy in a Relationship?

This is a question most people start asking when they run into challenges in their relationship. When they see that they are spending more time feeling negative emotions rather, than the positive ones, in connection with their relationship, in spite of being in love.

Sometimes it’s important to make yourself happy in a relationship by looking for the positive aspects rather than expecting your partner to change his/her behavior to suit your comfort. Here are some useful pointers on how to rediscover joy in a relationship.

1.) Focus On Being A Self Sustained Being

The secret to a happy relationship is to not be overly dependent on your partner.

Remember that a relationship is about sharing your life not about making a “crutch” out of one another.

Don’t expect your partner to be your emotional, or financial, crutch, as this would turn into resentment sooner or later. All forms of dependency point to a deeper insecurity within, which is poisonous to your inner peace and which will reflect in the quality of your relationship. Always focus on being a self sustained being, only then can you truly love another.

2.) Love and Accept Yourself Fully

Most people seem to enter into a relationship with the intention of “seeking” love from their partner; to fill up the hole they feel within themselves.

No amount of love from another can compensate for the lack of love you feel for yourself. Sooner or later you will start blaming your partner for not loving you enough.

Joyful relationships are forged between people who are already in love with themselves and seek to share their love with another. How do you learn to love yourself? It starts with unconditional acceptance of yourself without judgment and finding happiness within yourself.

3.) Create Ample Space

As human beings we have an innate desire to be free, and any form of bondage feels completely off to our being.

If you want to be happy in a relationship you have to learn to give your partner the space he/she deserves as an independent being. You share your lives together but that does not mean that you can trample on each others aspirations or desires.

Love flowers in a space of freedom and withers away in the throes of restrictions.

Be self sustained enough to allow your partner the freedom to express himself/herself the way he/she wants to in all areas of life, like in their career, hobby, religion or finance.

4.) Respect The Differences

No two beings are alike, that’s the most miraculous manifestation of life. Diversity is the spice of our existence and it’s there for our enjoyment.

To make yourself happy in a relationship you need to learn to appreciate, respect and accept the aspects of your partner which are different from you.

Don’t expect your partner to have the same view points, preferences or desires as you have. Encourage your partner to express his/her natural behavior and learn to enjoy the diversity they bring to the table.

Don’t ask your partner to change for you; if the incompatibilities are too strong then it’s best to just move out of each others life.

5.) Be Happy in Yourself

A relationship which is founded on the pillars of trust, acceptance and respect, has the stability to go the long term. You cannot hope to accept another without first accepting yourself.

Most relationships that fail are between people who have not yet come to terms with themselves, who have not learnt to be self sustained, who have unresolved conflicts within them that they hoped their partner would resolve for them.

If you are solely looking to your partner to make you happy, then it’s going to burn him/her out in sometime. Find your happiness within and then share it with your partner, that’s what makes for a beautiful relationship.