Learn how physical attraction works. Underlying all the emotion, thoughts, and hopes about love is our basic biochemistry. We are hard-wired to love! Attraction is based in brain chemistry. A group of neurotransmitters called monoamines (dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin) creates the feeling we experience as attraction.

• Dopamine is one of your brain’s “feel-good” chemicals (it’s where the term “dope” comes from). It’s also involved in your brain’s motivation and reward systems. When you meet someone you’re attracted to, dopamine starts sending feel-good chemical “rewards” to your system.
• Norepinephrine, sometimes known as noradrenaline (but not the same thing as adrenalin), delivers messages to your central nervous system. Norepinephrine is responsible for your ability to “block out” information that isn’t as interesting as the smart partner in front of you.
• Serotonin regulates a lot of functions in your body, including s****l behavior and body temperature. When you are very attracted to someone, serotonin decreases your body temperature, which makes your skin slightly more able to conduct electricity. This is the reason that love can literally make your skin tingle.
• In fact, experts say that attraction stimulates the same chemicals in the brain that addiction does, such as dopamine and oxytocin. If a girl isn’t attracted to you, it’s nothing to do with you: it’s all down to the chemicals in each person’s brain.
• A researcher at Rutgers University suggests that it takes less than one second for the brain to decide whether it considers someone to be attractive or not.
  • You may be able to overcome or cope with this split-second first impression, or you may not.
  • If not, don’t take it personally: people are not able to manage spontaneous impulses and what is judged may not have anything to do negatively with you. For instance, some women are drawn to men which are high risk-takers, some are more attracted to those who seem more cautious. There is nothing wrong with being either.
• Understanding how attraction works may seem to take some of the mystery and magic from this human emotion. However, what it does make clear is that love and attraction is a fundamental part of how we are hard-wired. And it is on a level that is not heavily rational. And sometimes the chemistry literally is right or wrong.

Take care of you. Women are generally attracted to men or women who demonstrate that they are able to care for themselves. This includes good grooming, and an overall healthy look. Keeping your body feeling and looking strong and healthy, is a big evolutionary sign of your “reproductive fitness” — basically, a sign that your genes are strong and healthy too.

• Keeping yourself well-groomed and healthy suggests self-confidence and a healthy respect for yourself, which most people find attractive.
• This does not mean you have to go overboard and become a marathoner or a bodybuilder. You may, however, want to consider join a gym or an ultimate Frisbee team to feel healthy and more confident about yourself, and thus be more attractive. Be the best version of yourself and be true to yourself, and remember that you do not have to be the best looking to be good looking.

Groom yourself for success. Your physical appearance and presence is the biggest first impression. It is also usually the strongest. You can have a great online profile and interaction, but if you finally meet the girl in real life and you reek of body odor and wear unflattering clothing, that will make a stronger impression than any online chat room.

• Control odors. Women in most industrialized societies are put off by strong body odors. Someone who does not bathe regularly, does not use antiperspirant, or wears clothes that stink, will be unsuccessful.
• Take care of your body. It is entirely possible to find love if one is imperfect: obese, have eczema, balding…whatever. However, doing your best to maximize your appearance will both directly look more attractive and make you feel more confident.
• Wear attractive clothing. Every society has a sense of what sort of clothing is attractive, and puts forth social signals of virility, confidence, and masculinity. If your clothing is unattractive, off-putting, or really odd, that sends a signal that there may be something wrong with the wearer.
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  Consider body language signals. Body language can be either conscious (like winking at someone) or subconscious (like your lips reddening or pupils dilating). People convey a variety of messages through body language, including the language of attraction. Most body language signs relevant to physical attraction communicate a few basic messages:

  • I am available: Lack of a likely partner, and looks confident and emotionally balanced.
  • I am interested: When a person says hi, a friendly and possibly flirty conversation strikes up.
  • I am harmless: There is no aggressive or “strange” behavior.
  • I am fertile: An overall healthy, youthful, energetic appearance.
  • I am approachable: Body language appears to be open and relaxed.
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  Look for open body language. Body language cues that say “I’m available” and “I’m approachable” suggest that the other person is in a state of mind that is receptive to your advances. Look for things such as:

  • Smiling
  • Making eye contact with you
  • Looking up (instead of staying absorbed with a phone, etc.)
  • Standing or sitting with the arms and legs relaxed and uncrossed
  • Keeping her feet pointed toward you if you’re having a conversation
  • Glancing at you from a distance, looking away for a time, then looking at you–not staring.