You don’t want to hear it, but you have to. Nobody wants a breakup but sometimes, letting go is better than staying and trying to fix things. If any of the following things are happening in your relationship, it may not just be a “phase” but an indication that it’s time to call it quits with your partner.
It’s more boring being with them than without them: what do you do when you are together? Stay in different parts of the house? Get busy with your phones? Watch TV but not really see anything? Sleep!? If spending time with them doesn’t really feel like spending time with them but rather it feels miserably boring, then it just may be an indication that the attraction is dead. If you can’t revive it, breakup.
There’s always a complain: if they start complaining about things that they usually wouldn’t complain about before, it’s a sign they are uncomfortable with the relationship and may be looking for an easy way out. This is especially true if they keep nagging but don’t want to actively participate in getting a solution to whatever it is they are nagging about.
You can go days without talking to them: before now, you guys talked long lengths and often. And now, you realize you can go days without talking with them. In fact, you’d rather not talk with them, or you even avoid talking with them. This is a clear sign that you are long overdue for a break. What’s a relationship when you don’t even talk!?
There are jokes and questions about going your separate ways: are there? It may look like harmless jokes and innocent questions “do you want to breakup?”, but chances are, if they voice it, they’ve thought about it … Long and hard. It won’t be long before they implement it.
You no longer do stuff together: you don’t go out on those romantic lunches, you don’t go on interesting trips anymore ,they don’t invite you to be their +1 when they go to events, you don’t even have s*x anymore because you don’t enjoy it with them. Your relationship is obviously going downhill.
It feels like a struggle: because it is a struggle! You tolerate them. You can’t bear to be with them. You don’t think of doing sweet things for them, you breathe out in relief when they leave the house. Just cut the drama, why are you still with them?
You are already into someone else: you are already having an affair, you are ready to move on with somebody new. Or maybe it’s not you, it’s them. They are chatting on their phone with someone and smiling, they changed their phone password, are they wearing new perfume? Instead of dragging yourselves, why not just breakup?
Some of these issues can be overcome with counseling. But when that doesn’t fix the issues (your partner may not even want to go to counseling), you’ve got to accept that calling it quits will be doing yourself (and them) a favor.
