Lust blinds the eyes… 

My friend got a new phone. She’s been flaunting it and when we found out how much it cost, I immediately did the maths on how many bottles of coke it’d get me, the result made my mouth water. The gist is, her ‘man friend‘ got it for her.

“And he didn’t ask for anything in return?” we asked her

“No o, I just told him I wanted a new phone and he got me this small toy”

We eventually met the ‘man friend‘, indeed he looked like father Christmas, big tummy, lots of beard and big shoe. Only this one is dark skinned, eats chicken like there’s no tomorrow and likes pinching young girls’ buttocks. So much for she’s not doing anything with him except being friends, we didn’t need a soothsayer to interpret what had happened, our friend had gotten a sugar daddy.

The man disgusted me but held her spellbound, he loved talking about himself, all the places he’s traveled to and all the people he knows. Being my usual self, I asked a lot of questions and it was obvious he took a lot of pride in his children but he avoided talking about his wife, only mentioning once that the mother of his children is currently pursuing her PhD. He smelt like cognac and the back of his palms were hairy. He had on really baggy jeans trousers, an even baggier college polo top and the dirtiest pair of sneakers I’ve ever seen. He drove a brown Ford and it made me wonder why anyone would feel comfortable owning a car the color of shit!  By the time he was leaving, he had asked for my number and slipped eight thousand naira into my palms, asking me to come see him sometime, my friend was all smiles at the generosity of her ‘man friend‘.

We don’t know what Susu saw in the man apart from his money, but even that wouldn’t, couldn’t, tempt me to go out with him. She talked about him like he was the Holy Spirit, filling her with spirit and fire, all I got filled with when I think about him is the feeling of wanting to puke. In fact the whole sugar daddy idea made me want to puke. But Susu kept talking about him like he was a god, he put the stars in her sky and I feared for my friend, was it possible she was in love with him? But he’s just a sugar daddy, can a girl fall in love with her sugar daddy? 

Then I met Gbenga 

I gave him my number because I thought he was 27 at most. He was well built, all muscle and clean shaven. He smelt like baby powder mixed with rose flower and he was deliciously handsome to the extent it pained me down under just looking at him. But he was mine, he had chosen me, he had asked for my number and he called me and we met again and again and again. He was a gentleman through and through.

Can’t stop, can’t hide, can’t pretend when the wrong one loves you right – Celine Dion

He had a marriage blessed with the two most sweetest and prettiest girls, his wife was currently out of the country with the third child on the way. He loved his sports and job and daughters and I hoped, me. His actual age was 39 and we were birthday mates, both born in the month of May.

We kept seeing for two months straight and spent all the time talking about everything under the sun, during this period, I think I fell in love. But he never did or attempted to do anything with me, and I never asked or accepted any gifts from him. I just really liked him and it was obvious he had a crush on me too, but we were both responsible adults, we wouldn’t do anything immature, he wouldn’t do anything stupid, me on the other hand, all I wanted to do was stupid. I just wanted him, I wanted to go out with him and get intimate with him and do everything with him. When I asked him what he thought of me, he said I intrigued him, he loves a woman with class and discipline, a woman who knows how to carry herself and owns her life, a woman who loves food and more than anything loves to laugh. And I was such a woman. Then he said he considers me his younger sister! We’ve been seeing for seven months now.

That day when I got home, eyes teary and heart broken, I realized more than anything I had been willing to compromise and go out with a way older man, one who was married with kids for that matter, and I had fallen for him, I had been enamored and fallen in love with him. I had wanted a sugar daddy but he didn’t want me, at least not in that way, because he has a family and there was a 20 years age difference between us. 

I moved cities and he left the country and we eventually lost contact. I know if he comes back any day, I’d still follow him without a second’s hesitation. It’s foolish… but until it happens to you…

Susu and I, we are no different, falling for men we shouldn’t even when we know it’s wrong, selfish and hardly fair, we succeeded in convincing ourselves with lies so we can sleep at night, every girl with a sugar daddy has her own story, has her own lie she tells herself.

I saw it as love, but then… lust blinds the eyes.