After your phone battery dies ..you sit
down to plan your life., and then, BOOM!!!
NEPA brings back the light..Plan
suspended! 2. I saw som1 who laminated
his ATM card 2day, if I mention
where d person comes frm now, people will
think I hate
Ibadan people .. 3. Surviving in Nigeria is not
easy….
Someone online wants to sell fridge with no
door, he’s
convincing me to use curtain 4. I still can’t
believe I was born without my permission,
What if I wanted to be a mosquito 5. See eh,
Sleeping next to your new bae for the very
first time
can be really
tough.
You have to breath in English, not too loud
and not too low. 6. This beautiful girl in my
street will not come out today that
I’m wearing fine clothes, its when I want to
go and buy bread
she will appear like evil spirit. 7. The only
thing u can
get in Nigeria
without connection is Pregnancy and STIs 8.
Don’t Trust A Girl Who Doesn’t Use
Her Fathers Name On Social Media.
If She Can Deny Her Fathers, My Brother Who
Are You? 9. On d last day, some guys will still
be looking at the yansh of
some girls while going to hell.
Angels will be shouting “okechukwu enter
ooooo 10. Ladies.. Not All Guys Who Call You
In Public Want 2 Woo You; Some Just Want 2
Tell You That Your Pant Is Showing. 11. If
you count the number of beds some girls
have slept on its enough to build 3 general
hospitals.. 12. You Cannot be a ‘SlayQueen’
and Be Smelling. Stop That
Nonsense! 13. And She Blocked me Becos I
Told Her that Her Short name
for “Elizabeth is Eliza”not Lizzy 14. Only igbo
kids will chase a fowl till the fowl develops a
muscle pull 15. It’s raining seriously here in
Canada. How about Nigeria? 16. This days
The way girls like cars ehh you’ll think they
were breastfed with engine oil. 17. When
the Pastor is praying that
whatever that doesn’t glorify God in your
body should disappear & your D**k
Disappeared … 18. Those that Cry during
Worship But Sleep during Sermon. What’s
their problem? 19. On judgement day
They should arrange like 10,000 angels that
will separate fight
between yahoo boys and white women 20.
I Miss Those Girls That Use To Cry After Break
Ups.
Girls Of Nowadays They’ll Just Replace You
With Contestant Number Two 21. Double
heart attack message from a babe to her
guy:
1st SMS: Lets break up now, its all over. 2nd
SMS: Sorry, Sorry, Sorry! That was not for you
Battery Full???
You Mean I Should Unplug My Phone When
There’s Still Light???
Is Like you Don’t Know We Are In Nigeria 23.
Rich people: 2 slices of bread and tea with a
small mug
Poor people: #180 agege bread & tea Inside
jug featuring
beans 24. Owerri Girls are now Scared of
Avalon , Venza , AccuraZDX , Benz etc, Maka
igba Ara 25. Drinking lots of water can help
you mind your business cos
you spend most of your time urinating
instead of Gossiping. 26. If She is not Good
in Bed , Biko Try the Floor and Stop
Disturbing Us 27. Churches should stop men
from using Bible mobile apps
while the sermon is ongoing. 95% of them
are checking
livescore 28. If you have a crush on
someone, hide it very well because
the moment you tell them, they will start
acting like deputy
Jesus. 29. Look into my Eyes and tell me you
LOVE me…. Naso some people take catch
Apollo 30. You Call Your Boyfriend HONEY
And Now You’re Complaining
other Girls Are Disturbing Him…
Who Doesn’t Like SWEET Things?? 31. If u
want to woo a Nigerian lady on social
media, don’t
start with “hi” I repeat don’t start with “hi”
She won’t reply u.
Start with, “Do u use First bank? 32. That girl
u call smallie, Your Dad may be in her inbox
begging her to stop calling him “sir” that his
name is
“Solomon Maduka” 33. Some Boys Can Form
and Pretend Just to look like good innocent
guys. During s*x .They be lyk “Baby, Is this
the hole?”
Idiot It’s The Gate, Knock And Enter inside
And He Said Once they Engage you in
Nigeria, You’ll wash Clothes, wash
Plates & Cook till the Ring Sef will Fade. 35.
When she says”i don’t date guys who
walk”…my brother
buy a wheelchair 36 You Got Angry Because
I Forgot Your Birthday,
Did I Give Birth To You? 37. No girl is more
happy than a girl whose boyfriend’s mum
calls “our wife” she can even wash the
compound gate 38. One thing about one
room apartment is that you wake up
and see all your properties at once. 39. “i
don’t date broke girls”
Said by a guy who bathes with soap until it
looks like a sim
card! .
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